I have recently found myself questioning some of the things that I have considered true, based on lessons and experiences of my childhood and adolescence. This got me to thinking about all the other beliefs I once held, and have chanced since I entered the adult world.
Childhood belief #1 - Cops are assholes.
Adult perspective – So are many firefighters, doctors, carpenters and beggars. A person’s vocation has nothing to do with their personality. While many people say that cops often act too aggressively, I ask, wouldn’t you? If every person I encountered in my daily life was a potential enemy, I would be a little aggressive also.
Childhood belief #2 - The rich are greedy.
Adult perspective- So are the poor! In fact, I say the poor are even greedier. Most wealth in this country is first generation, meaning the rich guy made his own money. No matter if they made their fortunes with an idea, a business, or a novel, they had to compete with other ideas, businesses, or novels. In order to make their fortunes, their money making vehicle had to serve an ever increasing pool of people, or they would stop making money.
The employees of these companies, on the other hand, often expect to see their salaries increase regularly, often for no increase in productivity! In other words, while the business owner must constantly find a way to serve more of his product to more people for a more competitive price, the employee asks for more money while the change in their productivity often goes unchanged. I’ll bet the business owner would like to increase his income without increasing his output! So who’s really the greedy one?
Childhood belief #3 - I’m basically an adult.
Adult perspective- This might have been the dumbest thing I ever said. Ever. At 16 or 17, I thought that having a job, paying some bills, and making some rudimentary decisions on my own somehow signified adulthood.
Marriage, fatherhood, car payments, career decisions and a mortgage have all served to open my eyes to the reality of adulthood. This status of maturity is not as simple the ability to perform some basic requirements. The weight of your decisions increases significantly when the consequences of your actions begin to affect not just you, but your family, home, and future. I read somewhere that in ancient Jewish cultures, a man could not be a judge until he fathered at least two children. This was because only in fatherhood and marriage could one gain the maturity, empathy and compassion necessary to judge other people.
Childhood belief #4 – My friends are my family.
Adult perspective- No, they’re not. While indeed, some friendships may last a lifetime and grow continuously richer and more fulfilling, this is the exception. For the most part, as you grow older, your friends will slowly fade away, being replaced by new relationships in the form of romantic interests, professional associations, and new friendships based upon things more relevant to your adult life. The simple fact is, people change. With that change in our personalities often comes a resistance to the changes in others’ lives and perceptions. Eventually this leads to a decline in the regularity of communication, which further widens the gap between what were once very close friendships. Often when this gap grows too wide, it will sever the relationship entirely.
Obviously, these views are mine, and they probably don’t apply to you’re life. I think we all undergo so many changes in the course of our lives that we are often different people from one phase of our lives to the next. What do you think?
This page will be a running record of what goes on in my head. Most of it will be gibberish with no value whatsoever, and the rest will be garbage with no value whatsoever.
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5 comments:
Very nicely written as always!
Isn't it funny how perspectives change to fit our world.
Okay on belief #1 ~ I think most of us viewed cops as the enemy in our teenage years just as we did teachers, parents and other authoritative figures. Yes there are some cops who choose to abuse their power just as there are parents, teachers, politicians, and etc that abuse their power. I strongly feel that a group should not be condemned for the actions of a few. That being said I do not feel that overly aggressive behavior is condoned just because of the constant threat the police officers face daily.
Belief #2 ~ LMAO! I still think there are a lot of greedy rich people out there! They didn't get rich by sharing the wealth :) but I know that there are a lot of greedy poor people as well, the ones that abuse our system daily. These people are the ones I have a problem with becasue my taxes do not pay for the rich they pay for the poor.
Belief #3 ~ I think feeling like you are "basically an adult" is a right of passage through adolescence. Then we grow up and find out what the real world is really like! There are days that I long for a glimpse of the carefree life I once had BUT I do not want to go back! Even with all my responsibilities I like where I am at, what I have learned & where I am going.
Belief #4 ~ I have tried writing my perspective on this several times now! Arrrgghhh.... LOL Okay, I think I know what I want to say! I think there will be people that come into your life that are more than friends but not quite family. To me these people will always be considered family. I grew up calling people Auntie & Uncle who were not blood related and these people are still called Auntie & Uncle by me, my husband, & my child. These people treat me like family and are treated like family. But not all the people I called auntie & uncle as a child are still around. I think there are a select few that are able to remain in our lives & even if they are gone for a year or five years they can come back and that bond will still remain. I unfortunately know that this does not occur with all friendships. So where do I stand?? Who knows maybe you can tell me LOL...
I did not mean to post as anonymous!
Stacy
"I want to punch holes through people."
#1 There is a difference between aggressive behavior and assertive behavior. Assertive behavior means standing up for your rights and expressing your truths in a way that neither shrinks from what you want to communicate nor assumes that they are the only valid truths. Assertiveness also includes recognizing and respecting the equality, rights and truths of other people.
Aggressive behavior means standing up for your rights, but in a way that violates the rights of other people. It means saying what you believe in a way that assumes that it the only truth, and that any contradictory statement is wrong.
Aggressive people often use anger, and other threatening behavior to bully, and dominate other people. They will use punishing language to infer guilt and create shame. They will use overt techniques of conversion to create unquestioning compliance.
Example;
You're so stupid. What a loser .
What! Are you arguing with me!! How dare you question me !!!
Was that you? You know you shouldn't have done that.
If you can cow another person then they are less likely to assertively or aggressively stand up for their rights. The goal of much aggressive behavior is to create passive behavior in others.
Aggressive people often have deep fears that they project onto other people. Bullies are often cowards who use aggression as a method of attack that pre-empts others attacking them. Where they fear particular people, they may displace their revenge onto unwitting victims.
#2 Greed is form of hope where the expected reward is typically far in excess of the time and cost expected to be invested. It is very commonly leveraged in many kinds of persuasion. Stimulate greed by dangling something desirable just out of reach perhaps letting the other person get a taste of it from time to time. Show how other people might just get it instead of them. Then when they are desperate for it, use getting it as a condition for you getting what you really want.
Be aware of what greed feels like in yourself. If you let it get the better of you, you are likely to end up paying what you can't afford for what you really don't need.
Home is the most important place in the world.
Jojo Black
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